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ginkageTomorrow's a big day. Dad goes to the lawyer's tomorrow morning to close on the new house. Then we start moving stuff in. We'll have some time since Dad and I are likely the only ones doing a lot of the work. I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow night and without net, so, perhaps I'll do the virtuous thing and go to bed earlyish.
So, here I sit at the early side of the morning, dawdling on the business of taking my computer down for the move. It seems so final. As of tomorrow, Grandma's house won't be our home anymore. It drives home the weight of it all and it's tying me up in little knots. Leaving this house is leaving memories, albeit only 6, and lots of good things. I'd come to love this house even when I was only a visitor. It's the last wedge in the big crack that is the space between childhood and adulthood for me. My last living grandparent is gone and one of the last big links I have to her won't be my concern soon.
In the end it will all get done. I'll stay with Dad for a while. I'll get my feet under me with some semblance of security to do so. I'll try and figure out just where it is I'm going to go in life.
They say that turning 30 is often a depressing milestone for some women, only eclipsed by 40.
I'm trying very hard to see 30 as a doorway. A turning point. Things will change.
It just hurts getting there.
So, here I sit at the early side of the morning, dawdling on the business of taking my computer down for the move. It seems so final. As of tomorrow, Grandma's house won't be our home anymore. It drives home the weight of it all and it's tying me up in little knots. Leaving this house is leaving memories, albeit only 6, and lots of good things. I'd come to love this house even when I was only a visitor. It's the last wedge in the big crack that is the space between childhood and adulthood for me. My last living grandparent is gone and one of the last big links I have to her won't be my concern soon.
In the end it will all get done. I'll stay with Dad for a while. I'll get my feet under me with some semblance of security to do so. I'll try and figure out just where it is I'm going to go in life.
They say that turning 30 is often a depressing milestone for some women, only eclipsed by 40.
I'm trying very hard to see 30 as a doorway. A turning point. Things will change.
It just hurts getting there.
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2007-07-31 09:58 (UTC)oh hogwash...it's an exciting time (or was for me). I'm having more fun in my 30's than I EVER did in my 20's! I say look forward to it.