Tired, whiney.

Ugh. Have 'orientation' thing for possible job with RGIS tomorrow. 9am. After I just spent three hours driving home from Silver Spring, MD to Waynesboro, VA. My -ass- is tired. And I'll have to be up at 7am just to be fracking functional. Which means.... bed. Like, now. But I'm too exhausted and still winding down to sleep.

This is so gonna suck. But... it's going to lead to work, I hope, so eh. Time to go haul my suitcase and pillows out of the car so I can go pound my face into my bed and try to sleep.

So tired I could cry.

Blarg

It takes explosions like tonight to tell me I'm keeping way too much inside. I probably should find a therapist or someone to talk to about it all. That's its own frustration, though. Most likely I should not be sitting here at 12:30am too exhausted to go back to bed because my brain won't shut off.

I'm frustrated on a lot of fronts but I can't elucidate half of them without sounding like I'm whining. I hate sounding like I'm whining. Really. I'm 30 years old. I'm not a child, I don't need to sound like one when things don't go the way I'd like them to.

Hopefully orientation on Monday will lead to having a job with RGIS. MarCon is in two weeks. I'd love for the last of the estate settlement to be parcelled out in that two weeks... but I'm not holding my breath. If it isn't, it means I can pay for my share of MarCon hotel and eat. Not much else. :/ Good thing I pre-reged. Took care of Otakon, too.

My car -thinks- it has a burned out tail-light and it doesn't. I've checked four or five times now and the light that warns about it goes on and off at random.

I'm coming to realize that on at least one MU* I'm doing nothing but squatting on characters. I haven't RPed on them in months though I log on. There's just.... been nothing there. I've been getting back into characters on another game and at least one of them is frustrating me a bit due to IC relationships. It's led me to not want to log on either character since I get poked about it on both.

My art is stagnating again. I am going to try and work on something for one of my forums and I'm half-hoping I get a few more votes on a contest I'm in.

I am losing weight albeit slowly. I know people worry about me but I can't take hearing about it every time they see me. I'm not blind. I know how my body feels. I also could have insurance in 90 days and can do something about it all. Please. Just... try not to worry so much? Please?

I guess it's true. The quiet ones -are- the ones you have to worry about. I'm not buzzing anymore, either.

Cowed.

I'm a bitch. I'm sorry.

I'm deleting my last post (or setting it private, whatever) since I'm an unmitigated ass.

I'm humbly sorry qara_isuke.

I think it's time to debate giving up PonyIsland. Seriously. If I allow something like this to so royally fuck things up, I don't need to have it around.