Waffling.

Sep. 9th, 2009 10:46 am
ginkage: Cropped head shot from a Mucha painting. (Default)
[personal profile] ginkage
I'm sitting here with a resignation/quitting email in my drafts (I can't help but be overly polite in my wording) and am having problems hitting send. I'm trying to bring myself to do it. I don't -like- having to quit a job even if I know I'll do better without it.

So much of me wants to end the negativity around this job: The waiting to see if I'm going to get work, how much of it, what stores, what hours, if there's going to be anything at all! The gripes of co-workers which is hard to ignore (I have a co-worker who is going to lose her place of residence) and the obvious catering to the fast folks and the new people (who thusly burn out faster).

On the other hand, a smaller part of me rails and says 'You have a job! Don't lose it just because of something like this! FIND SOMETHING ELSE FIRST!' I've only quit one job before this: working at Martin's (the grocery store deli job I had). It goes against the work ethic I had pounded into me working for two years to support four-five people including myself. It's like stepping off of a cliff and not knowing if there's a net or a cushion or something to keep me from falling.

I'm scared shitless.

So quit for my sake <g>

Date: 2009-09-09 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
From knowing you, stepping out into the unknown has always been the hardest thing for you. Even if you know it is what you should do - it still seems to stop you cold. I think that you won't have the inner freedom to really do what is next until you get rid of this burden. A job that doesn't want to employ you is no job. You are really not employed with this company. Plus they have been abusive in so many ways since you started there.

You won't fall. We won't let you. A job that won't employ you is no safety net. ily.

yo' mama

Re: So quit for my sake <g>

Date: 2009-09-09 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginkage.livejournal.com
Well, I did it. Got a response back essentially thanking me for my time there (though not without a small dig that I'll be missed on at least one particular job). It's over.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-09 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Good...

Now give yourself a hug from me to stop the shaking. You will be just fine. In fact you will be better. Any job that you apply for will understand that you quit because the work was seasonal and dependent on the retail economy - and that basically there wasn't any work to be had. That will not be a black mark on your record.

yo' mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-09 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kahva.livejournal.com
{HUGGLES} They didn't deserve you to begin with.
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