Sep. 9th, 2009

Waffling.

Sep. 9th, 2009 10:46 am
ginkage: Cropped head shot from a Mucha painting. (Default)
I'm sitting here with a resignation/quitting email in my drafts (I can't help but be overly polite in my wording) and am having problems hitting send. I'm trying to bring myself to do it. I don't -like- having to quit a job even if I know I'll do better without it.

So much of me wants to end the negativity around this job: The waiting to see if I'm going to get work, how much of it, what stores, what hours, if there's going to be anything at all! The gripes of co-workers which is hard to ignore (I have a co-worker who is going to lose her place of residence) and the obvious catering to the fast folks and the new people (who thusly burn out faster).

On the other hand, a smaller part of me rails and says 'You have a job! Don't lose it just because of something like this! FIND SOMETHING ELSE FIRST!' I've only quit one job before this: working at Martin's (the grocery store deli job I had). It goes against the work ethic I had pounded into me working for two years to support four-five people including myself. It's like stepping off of a cliff and not knowing if there's a net or a cushion or something to keep me from falling.

I'm scared shitless.
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